Glow

O the dreaded double chin...

I've always had more of a fuller face--a round face if you will, that seemed to only expand its territory. Over time I learned little tricks here and there on how to camouflage this flaw with bangs and how to dust bronzer along the most prominent areas, but those things are only temporary fixes. I wanted to try something new, something that produces lasting results so I can finally feel secure enough for a close-up shot...and in my desperate exploration, I found the most hilarious and bizarre beauty gadgets that tickled me so much with their silliness that I decided that I'd rather die than be caught buying them. Take a look.

It's one of those "As-Seen-On-TV" things...

This little gizmo claims that it'll erase your double chin. HOW? By nodding your head for 5 minutes a day with a spring-resisted pump.  In theory it sounds good, afterall it's providing a chance for you to strengthen and tone muscles that normally don't get a workout. I picked it up and almost bought it, until I thought of this scene: sitting in front of the TV--working on my chin--groaning with a neck strain from repetitive motion--doctors roaring with laughter as I explain, like a fool, how the chin pump works. Sure, it may give me a great neckline, but I just can't put my reputation as a sensible person on the line.

 Thanks to the megastore Daiso and other Asian specialty boutiques, bizarre Asian things can be found everywhere in North America, and that means you can purchase one of these things and use it as a party game to embarrass your friends and family.

Yep, a picture is worth a thousand words. You tilt back your head back while biting on a piece of stretchable cloth with a built-in weight. The model looks eerily similar to a bird trying to fly off with someone's plastic lunch bag.

This next item reminds me of "The Man in The Iron Mask". It's suppose to be very tight as you wrap it around your face and that pressure, supposedly, will grant you a smaller face.

Comon! Restrictive things like this only works if you practically live in it and I have a feeling that it gets pretty sweaty and stinky under that silicone shell.

You know what I found in the end? I discovered that the best way to slim down my face and keep my double chin in check is smiling and laughing. These natural expressions use all the intricate muscles in your face and little by little, I saw a difference. I also massage the area directly below my chin and along the underside of my jawbone, where the lymph rests. This simple combination toned facial and neck muscles and relieved puffiness. Still, I'd like to buy one of those blue masks some day--I think it'll be a great practical joke.